My Journey to Self Acceptance and Love

I have been spending a considerable amount of time lately thinking about my future.

What kind of job I will have, where I will live, what kind of person will I become? The biggest worry however has become who I will marry. This is a question that many of us have been asking ourselves since the doc stopped writing our prescriptions for cootie shots. After tormenting myself with this question for days I came up empty. I could not think of one single person in my present or my past that I could see myself potentially marrying. With everyone around me seemingly in relationships or married or at the very least having a few prospects, I am left asking myself what is wrong with me. Let me tell you I have mastered the art of finding my own flaws and magnifying them until they consume me. I have begun to compare myself to everyone. I can't watch TV without constantly comparing myself to everyone that comes across the screen. I can't stand in the line at the grocery store, I cannot check my Facebook or Twitter feed. What I have discovered is that it is incredibly easy for me to identify the best qualities in everyone else, but I cannot find any good in myself. After many weeks of feeling hopeless and reaching a low point in my life, I have decided to do some things to change my outlook. I cannot hope to be loved if I do not love myself first. I can't sincerely love another person without first learning to love myself. So starting right now, I am beginning a mission. This journey to self acceptance will probably be the hardest thing I will ever do. It is essential to my survival. I know that I can't change over night, so I am going to take this one step at a time. Consider this my version of AA, SHA- self haters anonymous. I so badly needed a 12 step program and this blog will be my sponsor. I am going to start posting my steps to self recovery and how I am doing on my journey. I hope that I can begin to heal. I also hope that this little blog will be able to help heal others going through the same thing.

xoAJ

I still plan to do my regular not so completely sad posts so if this isn't your thing don't worry! I'll still be writing about everyday useless (but so fun) information.